When my last column was published I asked for readers to e-mail me comments or topics they would like to see me write about.
Now let me just say that I am very much against stereotypes and assuming the agenda of an individual based on who they are. However, I got well over 20
e-mails in the last month, almost all from what I assume to be Jewish mothers and grandmothers (sorry about the stereotype), writing to a single young male in a new city.
Can’t figure out what my column topic is? Perhaps you need to brush up on your Jewish stereotypes.
Let’s talk dating.
I will say thank you to each individual who wrote to me, asking to know about my “situation.” To a columnist, e-mails are the greatest thing — it means people are reading. Positive or negative, I’ve heard it all, nothing can really faze me. And while I didn’t answer every e-mail individually I will now present, what apparently is a hot topic, my current dating situation.
I am a single, straight (yes this came up), 22-year-old male from the suburbs of Chicago. For the first time in a very long time, I am single.
By single I mean no girlfriend and no prospects on the horizon. OK, that has been cleared up.
I won’t delve into my past, because that is exactly what it is, my past. What I left in Chicago or Miami (Ohio), is irrelevant now, I have made the transition to Pittsburgh and for the next couple of years at least, my life will be centered here.
People always ask me if it’s rough being single in a new city — yes it is. But I like to consider myself fairly outgoing.
I have been out on a few first dates since I’ve been here, but nothing has seemed to click so far. But that’s OK. I’m 22, these are the years that are meant for me to be able to go to the South Side, and learn from my mistakes.
Besides, I love first dates. After all, what’s a first date besides basically an interview?
The “dating market” is exciting and a nice change of pace for me. I like meeting new people and having all kinds of interesting and sometimes strange encounters.
But many wanted to know if I would date outside the Jewish religion. A touchy subject for some people I know.
I have no objections to dating a non-Jew, however, I have only dated Jewish girls, and my preference would be to stay in the religion. It just seems that everything would be much simpler down the road with a girl of your own faith, plus I know here in Pittsburgh there isn’t a shortage of Jewish girls.
I’ve been informed of all the different ways to meet Jewish girls in Pittsburgh. Besides just running into one while at the synagogue, apparently I can find a Jewish girl just about anywhere.
While I haven’t gotten to the point where I’ll be using a matchmaker, I do know of JDate, and the many other Jewish dating sites available. Whether or not I’ve joined any of them is a different story.
But is it me, or does it seem like in the Jewish religion you’re expected and sometimes even pressured to get married earlier? You know, that way your parents can show off their grandchildren to their friends (again sorry about the stereotype).
However, to be fair, my parents have been very cool about my dating life — except for when my mom and grandma both try to tip-toe around the subject of whether or not I’ve found a girlfriend here yet. They are both getting very good at asking without actually asking. It must be a Jewish mother thing (last stereotype, I promise).
Well there it is. Everything you need to know, and probably some things you didn’t need to know, about my dating life.
At some point I will find that certain someone, I’m sure, and it could be in a week or it could be in a year.
Only time will tell.
(Mike Zoller’s column “On My Own,” published monthly, deals with issues facing a young Jewish adult as he lives on his own in a new city for the first time. Have a comment or a topic you would like to see written about? E-mail them to firstname.lastname@example.org.)